The call from the doctor's office was like listening to someone rattle off a grocery list.
But instead of hearing the words "bread, water, toothpaste..."
The nurse was going through the results of a recent, giant blood test.
Something about cholesterol.
Something about triglycerides.
"And you're diabetic, now..."
Her voice continued on going down the list. Seemed never to miss a beat.
Something about Vitamin D deficiency.
Suddenly, it felt like I had cupped my hands over my ears.
The voice on the other end of the line was trailing away, still talking, but all I heard were muffled sounds. White noise. Like listening to the inside of a Conch shell.
Whooshing.
That word hit me.
Diabetic.
I'm diabetic, now.
I just kept repeating that over and over in my mind.
I'm diabetic, now.
Whooooossssh.
I tried to come back to the voice. Swim through the whooshing. Back to the surface.
A lump formed in my throat.
My eyes stung with tears.
I felt ashamed.
Scared.
Mad.
Confused.
Mad.
Stunned.
Mad.
Ashamed.
Mad.
Alone.
Mad.
Blindsided.
Mad.
Paralyzed.
Sad.
I was on an emotional roller coaster.
I don't even remember hanging up the phone.
Nothing was computing except that I now had a label.
Hello, my name is Katharyn.
And I'm a diabetic.
2 comments:
Hey, Katharyn. I just want to let you know that you're not alone in this. The diagnosis can be really scary, and it does take work, but it's doable. I've been diabetic for 15 (almost 16) years, so if there is anything I can help you with or questions that I can help answer, just let me know. I'm here if you need me. I love you!
Mrs. M,
THANK you so much for your comment and for reaching out. It means a lot.
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