Better than a tape measure

I love children.
You have to love their innocence.
You have to love their honesty.
Most of the time.
I remember when my daughter was three. I was tucking her in one night, and she told me that I needed to be "fin not fat". Her little hands demonstrated what she meant.
Wow, that hurt.
I remember swallowing the lump in my throat and trying to mask the pain in my eyes, because she didn't know she'd just cut me to the quick.
Fast forward.
My daughter is a second grader, now. How time flies! Also, that's a telling timeline of my fight to get healthy.
It's so hard to change, isn't it? But I look at my daughter, and I know that change is a must.
I have to keep diabetes under control.
I have to make sure my heart doesn't give out too soon.
I don't want to have a stroke.
My daughter is my daily motivation, these days.
Seeing her grow and change every day.
Being there every day.
And I need to be a good example for her.
I'm not saying it's not a struggle because it is!
One thing that I would say to anyone out there who is fighting to get healthy: tell people what you're doing. Let them know that you are up against an Ugly Monster, and you need them to be supportive. They will be. I'm seeing it.
Share what you're doing with your family and your extended family.
Help them learn as you learn.
I'm already seeing my daughter make healthier choices in her own daily life.
We're doing this together. But that doesn't mean deprivation. It just means making better decisions and willingness to try something new.
So how am I doing with this?
I can see big changes in little ways.
Pants are looser.
Shirts are looser.
Dresses are looser.
Shoes are bigger.
I even see a collar bone when I look in the mirror.
Overall, I feel better.
But the best measure of how I'm doing came at bedtime, last week.
I was tucking in my daughter, and she hugged me goodnight.
And when she backed up, she had a surprised smile on her face.
"Mom! I can put my arms around you!"
Whoa...
Gulp.
Now, that's a lump in my throat I can live with.

Secret Weapons

I was going through some recent vacation photos, and I made a discovery.
You know those "Before" and "After" pictures you see on weight-loss advertisements all the time?
Yeah, you know the ones.
Well? I found my "Before" picture.
The funniest part is that I was actually feeling pretty good, that day. So I let my husband snap a phone-pic of me with my awesome daughter.
Let's just say that once I saw it I considered sending it to "Trash." STAT.
But I didn't. Aren't you proud? But no, you won't see it. Yet. I'm way too ashamed to post it here. Maybe I will at some point. Stay tuned.
Anyway...
Back to business. Learning you're diabetic can be overwhelming. And last time, I said I have a couple of secret weapons that are helping me learn to adjust my life one second, one minute, one hour, and one day at a time.
Really, it's about one decision at a time.
Should I eat this? Or should I have that?
Should we go here? Or should we go there?
The tricky part is answering the questions before you dive into a bottomless bag of tortilla chips.
There's no answer key written on my arm, but I do have a cheat sheet of sorts.
That's it right up there on the blog: Foods to Avoid. I know it's hard to see, but you get the idea.
I love my doctor. She gave me this sheet, and she took the time to make some little notes on it. I carry it with me everywhere. It has the wrinkles to prove it.
Some of the highlights: Watch starches. Eat only 1-2 servings per day.
Never eat white bread, white rice, white potatoes, white pasta.
(Are you noticing a trend here?)
Oh! And chips are the devil.
Okay, it doesn't say that, but it does say avoid them. Avoid cereal, too.
When you do have those items instead you should choose -- you guessed it -- whole grain bread, whole grain oatmeal, brown rice, sweet potatoes and whole wheat pasta.
(Confession: I can do all of these, but I struggle with the whole wheat pasta thing. Can someone make one that tastes better? Still working on learning to like it.)
The other big "Ah-Ha!" here is to avoid ALL fruit juices. They seem innocent enough, but they get you with the sugar. This was really good to learn, especially where my daughter is concerned. As a parent, you think fruit juice is good for your kids. Sneaky!
Stay away from the tropical fruits. Those include bananas, papaya, mango, pineapple and all the melons. They have high glycemic indexes.
Instead, choose an apple or a pear.
Guess that phrase "An apple a day..." wasn't so far off the mark, huh?
Avoid foods with high fructose corn syrup.
Let me tell you... read labels, if you don't already. You'd be shocked by what you see. You may think you're sending a healthy snack in your child's lunchbox, but an innocent looking package of apple sauce may be loaded with corn syrup. I was amazed -- and appalled -- when I started looking.
And I didn't forget the protein department. My cheat sheet says limit meat (red meat) to once a week, and the serving should be the size of a deck of cards. Have fish twice a week - especially the ones packed with Omega-3's like salmon. Chicken or turkey should be eaten twice a week. And consider meatless dishes that include protein from beans, avocado, peanut butter or quinoa.
My cheat sheet is getting a little worn, but it's my mini-food bible. I'm not always faithful, I admit. But it does help keep me on the straight and narrow.
The other thing I did was join Weight Watchers. Their app is fantastic. I'm seldom on the website on my computer, but I have the WW app with me everywhere I go. The new Points Plus system lets me eat all the fruits and veggies I want. (I do try to keep track of the carb-rich ones.) The main thing it does is make me stop and think about what I'm eating. It helps me "cap" how much I eat. It also helps me make food decisions ahead of time - especially if I know I'm going to be eating out. And I get to reward myself every once in a while by adding back points if I do any activity. I gotta say, I love it. It's easy, and it's not expensive.
It's just nifty, as my grandmother says. I only wish they had a diabetic version. Maybe they do, and I just haven't seen it. Let me know if they do.
Probably my best secret weapon is actually a person. She's a super-human Super Woman who's studied and cared about healthy lifestyles for years. I won't give her name, but she knows who she is. Whether it was family or friends or even complete strangers, she's taken the time to care and coach and even nag a little, if that's what it takes to help them. She's smart and leads by example. I have always rebelled. But she never gave up on me.
In the days following my diagnosis, she helped me make sense of the turmoil I was feeling. She explained the whole insulin thing in a way I could understand. She gave me some little tips, simple tips, to get through my next meal. She's someone I can turn to and count on, and I appreciate her so much.
Sigh.
Ok. Enough sappy stuff. The real reason I love this Super Woman is because she introduced me to Greek yogurt. (Cue the singing angels.)
I freaking LOVE that stuff! Only 3 points! High in protein! AND... it tastes good.
Sigh.
So here I am -- a few weeks since my diagnosis.
And it's been a couple of months since that dreaded "Before" picture was taken.
It's been hard.
I hate that picture of me.
But I'm trying.
And every day, it is truly starting to look a little more like a "Before" picture should.
I'm making headway on my path to "After."
Look out "After"... I'm coming for you.